Hold My Hand
by TheSpaceBetweenUs
Summary: Dying was easy, all you had to do was wait until it consumes you. Loving was natural, like breathing, love was a natural part of everyone. Living was the hardest thing to do - especially if you were required to live with out someone you loved. Bella Swan loses her virginity to her father at the young age of 15. Now 17, her life becomes a web of lies and secrets but can she really
1. Authors Note

**Hey guys! So I know many of you loved this story but I was having trouble fitting the plot into a reasonable story line AND keep it a story about Bella and Charlie - it was steadily becoming a different story all together so I have decided to scrap the chapters and to rework the story so the plot will keep it essentially about Bella and Charlies secret life. I have also changed the name - bye bye Secret Liasions hello Hold My Hand!**


	2. I

I was 15 when everything changed - if you ask me now I'll tell you it made me a better person but that I wished it had never happened. Back then it was new and exciting, like a new shiny penny dangling in front of me. It was dangerous, illegal and powerful - like an addictive drug I was craving, unwilling to admit I needed help to get away from it. Like a typical teenager I thought I could handle the pressure and responsibility like an adult but now I realise I was barely keeping my head above water.

The summer before I turned 16 was like any other summer of my childhood, I spent two week in Fork with Charlie, my father. I hated Forks back then, it was cold and was continuously wet. I'm sure if the rain stopped for more than 12 hours at a time and I was able to explore the woods then I'd have loved the place. As it was, the majority of my vacation in Forks was spent inside the house waiting for Charlie to return home.

On this particular night, Charlie had gone to his friends house for a few drinks. It wasn't something he would normally do but for what every reason he had decided he would - I learnt the reason afterwards and it completley shocked me.

Charlie had promised he wouldn't stay out too long, and I told him to have fun. I was use to my mother leaving me for hours at a time when one of her hair -brained ideas took center stage. At half past ten, Charlie walked in through the door - early just like he promised - but he was being helped in by Carl his deputy. Giving a small laugh as he flopped on to the sofa, Charlie stank of beer and firewood.

"Sorry Bella," Carl said as he straightening himself back up. "He drank just a little to much."

"It's okay, he doesn't normally drink a lot so he's allowed one night off." I tried to sound pleasant as I shifted uncomfortably under Carl's gaze. The same age as my father, Carl had a liking for younger women. I could remember the year before, he had a young 18 year old girl hanging on his every word at a public fair - something he did often according to my father. Whenever Carl would look at a young woman it felt as if he could see through any clothing they had on - it felt creepy.

"Walk me to the door?" He asked smiling creepily as he began to make his way to the door. I held the door open as Carl stood in the threshold his eyes roaming my body.

"How old are you now?"

"I'll be 16 in September."

"Ah yes, you look so grown up. Right I'm off." He wrapped his arms around me, letting his hands rest of my backside before he pulled away and swooped down to plant a kiss on my lips. Yuck. I shut the door not even bothering to wait for him to walk down to front steps.

Charlie was stood in the doorframe of the living room when I turned around, a frown on his face and his arms crossed over his body. He looked upset and I had a feeling it was directed at Carl - had he kissed me because he knew Charlie was watching? I gave a smile as I made my way towards him.

"I think you should go to bed." I told him.

"Hmmm, bed." He sighed as he dropped his arms and began to shuffle to the stairs, stumbling as he went. Giving a small laugh I walked up behind him trying to stop him from falling down as he went.

As Charlie opened his door and flicked on his bedroom light he stumbled and grabbed hold of me and he tried to steady himself. Pushing up against me as I fell back against the wall, he towered over meh breathing hard. Something flashed in his eyes as his right had cupped my cheek. I didn't know what was happening, all I knew was my heart was beating fast.

Even though I was 15, I was the first to admit it was extremely naive. When it came to talking about sex I would shy away from the topic, my mother had put me on the pill at the beginning of the summer because she was my age when she first had sex. I had never thought I'd be the same as her, yet here I was kissing my father. I don't really remember much of how it all began, I can remember Charlie lower his head and kissing me. I can remember kissing him back, but then as I kissed him I began having an internal argument with myself. Part or me was telling me to stop him, to stop this but the other part really wanted this to continue.

When I finally came to my senses, I was lying on Charlie's bed - completly naked - Charlie was also naked and was hovering above me, just staring at my body. I was completly open to him, my legs open and Charlie between them, his erection pressing into my thigh. My heart was beating fast as I finally realised that Charlie didn't care that I was his daughter, his own blood.

"Beautiful" Charlie muttered as he traced a hand across my body. From the base of my neck across the rise of my breast, down my stomach to the curls of my public hair. He pushed a finger in me and I let out a cry, to which he silenced with a kiss. Pumping the finger in and out of me, I could feel myself becoming wet and my breathing becoming heavier.

It was at this point, as I began to enjoy the feelings of pleasure that washed over me that Charlie stopped an pulled his finger out of me. Shifted his position, I could feel his cock was closer the my vagina. I panicked then, and tried to close my legs but Charlie wasn't going to move. In one fluid motion, Charlie entered me causing me to scream out. I won't lie to you, it hurt, Charlie wasn't gently. He had drank too much to be gentle. As Charlie continued to fuck me, I was praying for it to finish. I was uncomfortable, he felt too big and I wasn't enjoying myself. For some reason - something I still not entirely sure about why he would do it - Charlie shouted he was about to cum. It wasn't like a normal cry, but a full blown shou in my ear. With a cry he slammed into me and I coul feel him release his semen inside me. Rolling off me, Charlie wrapped an arm around my wast as planted a kiss on my cheek before he fell asleep.

I was extremely sore the next morning, and sticky. The nights events kept playing in my mind, I had sex. I had fucked my own father and I didn't feel disgusted by the thought. Neither did Charlie, he woke up the next morning with me in his arms and kissed me. We had sex again, and even though I was sore from last night, it felt a bit better than it had before.

For the remainder of my holidays, we had sex. We fucked in my bed, in the kitchen, over the washing machine, the living room, on the stairs, in the cruiser, up against an ally wall in Port Angeles and in Charlie's office. He guided me went I sucked him off, when I rode him. He fucked me on all fours and had even used his handcuffs on me. The more we fucked the more I enjoyed it, the more I wanted it. Charlie and I both agreed that this was something we both wanted and when i came to visit him next, we would continue this.

The journey home was the worst, I wanted to stay with Charlie. I made a decision shortly after my 16th birthday, I was going to move in with Charlie. So I ask my mom and she cried, I asked Charlie and he was thrilled and more than willing to have me live with him. Renee put up a fuss and didn't want me to go so I made a compromise - I would move in with Charlie during the summer break and start school there in Sptember. I was really looking forward to it.


	3. II

I ran into Charlie's embrace at the airport, dropping my bags on the floor as I went. It was close to a year since I had last seen him. I ached for his touch.

"Hello beautiful. It's good to see you again." Charlie chuckled as he wrapped his arms around me.

"I've missed you." I told him honestly.

"I missed you too Bells."

Gathering the two suitcases and three duffle bags I had dumped in the middle of the airport, Charlie and I made our way to the cruiser that he had parked outside. I smiled when I saw the car, remembering the way we said goodbye to each other last August in the back of this cruiser. I slid into the passenger seat as Charlie placed all my bags into the boot, once they were in Charlie sat in the driver seat and gave me a smile.

"What did you bring Bells? Those bags were bloody heavy!" He chuckled.

"I'm staying here for good, not just two weeks." I reminded him smiling.

"Of course, but I have a kitchen sink!" He joked. He was a in good mood, one of the best I had seen him in a long time. It was infectious too because I found myself grinning madly as we drove out of the airport.

"This first thing I'm going to do when we get home is make sweet, sweet love to you in our bed." Charlie announced as he drove down the windy road that was lined with trees. We were on the last stretch of our journey, we would be home soon.

"That sounds like a brilliant idea!" I laughed as I leant over a squeezed his thigh. "Maybe then we could order a Chinese?"

"Perfect."

As we approached the house, I pulled my hand away and sat back in my chair. 3 police cruisers were all sat in the driveway of our home and every cop was standing in a group talking. It looked serious, very serious. As Charlie slowed the car and pulled into the curb, the tight group loosened up, an walked closer to the car.

"What's happened?" Charlie asked as he opened his door, leaving the engine running.

"It's Malcom, he's been murdered. Carl is at the scene but your needed." One of the guys said.

"Shit." Charlie muttered looking at me. "I'm sorry Bells."

"It's okay, you have to go." I got out of the car and walked to the trunk. Suddenly three burly men were there picking up my bags and jogging to the front door placing them down. The sooner they were out of the car the fast they could go. I watched as one by one four cruisers turned their siren and light on and drive away at speed. The disappointment rose as I watched Charlie drive away. Our reunion would just have to wait.

Charlie didn't come home all day, and By the time I was ready for bed, I still hadn't heard from him. I had spent the day keeping myself busy. I unpacked all my belongings, put clean bedding on the bed and even cleaned the house. At midnight I sent a quick text to Charlie telling him I was going to bed, switched off all the lights and climbed into Charlie's bed completly naked and settled down to sleep.

The bedroom light beige flicked on woke me up, a gave a grumbled and stuck my head under the pillow. The light went off and Charlie paced a kiss on my shoulder blade.

"Sorry." He whispered. The bed dipped and moved as Chalrie climbed into bed. He slowly started the trace up my spine and I pulled my head out from under the pillow to peer in his direction through the darkness of the room.

"How are you?" I whispered, not wanting to disturb the silence.

"Not good, it's too late to talk about it. Get some sleep I'll tell you everything in the morning."

Charlie leant over and placed a kiss on my lips and I wrapped my arm around him turning around so I was lying on my back. Charlie's hand grabbed at my left knee and pulled it up to his waist whilst trapping my left leg underneath him. I dragged my nails down his back slowly as Charlie entered me. Giving a gasp I closed my eyes and tightened my leg around him as he set a slow pace. I had missed this, it had been to long. Charlie kissed down my neck before nibbling on my ear.

"You feel so good Bella." He whispered as he started to go faster.

"Right there! Shit, Charlie!" His cock began stroking my spot and as I cried out he brought his hand between us and began to rub my clit. Soon I was a panting mess, calling his name as I climaxed.

"I'm going to cum!" Charlie shouted as he thrusted one last time, spiking his semen in me.

Breathing heavy, Charlie rolled off me and pulled me into his side. Resting my head on his chest, falling asleep smiling.

I woke up the following morning to an empty bed, the tv was on downstairs so I slipped on one of Charlie's shirts and made my way down to him. Charlie was sat in his normal chair watching CNN though I had a feeling he wasn't really watching it. He looked up when I walked into the room and held his arms out for me. Sitting on his lap, he gave me a kiss on the side of my head.

"What's wrong?" I asked as I rested my head on his shoulder.

"I think someone from the station killed Malcom." He admitted.

"What? Why?"

"It's complicated, I'm not sure where to begin."

"You can tell me anything, Charlie."

"I know," he sighed, "I think someone from the station is dirty. You know Malcom was a retired marine so I had asked him for help. For over a year he and I have been trying to gather evidence."

"How dirty?" I whispered.

"I think they are responsibly for half of the unsolved cases I've got. Drug offenses, unsolved deaths and a few other crimes. Malcom had called me yesterday saying he made a break through now I'm back to square one."

"I'm sorry Charlie. If I can help you in anyway I will."

"I know Bells, if you can help I'll let you know."


	4. III

Trying to put the murder to the back of our minds, Charlie and I went back to bed. Lying entwined on the bed, the two of us spent the entire morning in bliss.

"Did you miss me when I went back to Arizona?" I asked as I lay on top of Charlie, stroking his chest.

"You have no idea how much I missed you." He replied, "I spent many nights lying awake wondering what you were doing."

"There was no one else... you know..." I trailed off, not knowing how to phrase what I wanted to say. I knew that I had nothing to be upset about, I was his daughter - I shouldn't be like this with him anyway, and he was only a man if he needed to be with a woman and I wasn't here then he should have the right to. I just didn't want to be replaced.

"Oh my silly girl," Charlie chuckled as he wrapped a arm around me. "Were there women in the past year, yes. Did we fuck, yes. But I never made love to them like I do with you."

"There is a difference?" I huffed, feeling stupid for starting this conversation.

Suddenly I was lying underneath Charlie as he hovered above me. Leaning down and claiming my lips, Charlie wrapped an arm around my waist and lifting my hips off the bed and grinding against my pussy. I groaned as I held onto his biceps trying to fuse myself to him. He pulled away and looked me deep in my eyes. Moving down, Charlie placed a series of butterfly kisses down my body until he hovered over my pussy.

"I never did this with any of them." He said, looking up at me with a grin.

"Did wh-ahh!" I threw my head back and arched my back as Charlie lowered his head and began sucking on my clit. Throwing an arm over my hips and pushing them down onto the bed, Charlie looked up at me through his lashes and I could imagine him laughing at me. Raising myself up on my elbows, I looked down watching Charlie was he continued to attack me with his mouth. I was full of his cum and my own juices, just how he liked me and I knew he was enjoying this just as much as I was.

"God, Charlie!" I moaned as I lay back down closing my eyes. Charlie pulled away and I could feel him moving up my body, kissing each breast and the base of my neck I could feel his breath fan my face. As I opened my eyes, I was staring directly into his. Never looking away, Charlie entered me and I gave a sigh.

"I've never slowly loved someone like this." He whispered as he slowly pulled out and back in and I moaned, I was in heaven. Reaching up, I attacked his lips, wrapping my legs around his waist and weaving my fingers though his hair. Grabbing onto my hips, Charlie began to speed up, bucking my hips into him I let out a groan as I came. Pulling away and flipping me over, Charlie straddled my ass as he entered me grabbing both my wrists and holding onto them about my head. As Charlie began to fuck me, he bit into my shoulder before kissing his bite mark. He repeated this all across my shoulders and the back of my neck and he had me crying out for more. As I came for the second time, Charlie shouted as he too came before he collapsed on top of me.

"I never released myself into any one else either." He said breathlessly. "My semen is only for your body."

"How can you make something so disgusting sound semi-romantic?" I gave a breathless laugh as I lent up and gave him a kiss.

"It's a gift." He joked as he rolled over. "Do you feel better now?"

"A little," I admitted blushing.

"Can we agree on one thing?" Charlie asked, pulling my face towards him a serious look on his face.

"What?"

"We will both have other lovers, to keep up the pretense that we are just father and daughter, but we keep our love for each other and we are open about everything?"

"I could live with that." I admitted, though I was sure I wouldn't sleep with anyone else. I just wanted Charlie.

"Good," He smiled and gave me a kiss. "Come come sit that pretty pussy on my cock."

As reality came knocking, Charlie gave me a kiss as he left me naked in bed to go to work. Knowing I would be utterly bored in the house on my own, I decided to set out into the town I was going to be calling home and explore. We also needed food so I needed to go to the store anyway.

The entire town was talking about the death of Malcom, apparently it was quite a rare occurrence in Forks to have a murder like this one. Typical murders in the area were of husbands or wives killing each others and other deaths had been due to animal attacks, car accidents and overdoses. As the daughter to their chief of police, everyone seemed to know me and wanted me to give them details. I smiled and told them I had no information and that Charlie was working hard to catch the killer. By the time midnight rolled around Charlie was still at work, he did send a message saying he was working late and that he was sorry. I went to bed alone again for the second night in a row, I tried to stay awake waiting for Charlie to come home but my eyes became too heavy and I drifted off to sleep before he made it back to me.


	5. AN - an update

**Hey guys, I want to apologies for not updating in quite a while. I have been ill but now that I am better I plan on updating on a more regular basis. **

**Sorry for making you all wait! The next chapter should be up by then end of the week.**


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